This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need to align my fucking chakras
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
