I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
