so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
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It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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