Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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