im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
