Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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