I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
