6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
