i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Randomize
