remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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