Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
