I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
