i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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