i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
