This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
