Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
