i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
