i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize