we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
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Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
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how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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