people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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