Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
