the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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