Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
me + whiskey = a bad person
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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