Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
