I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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