Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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