Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
