I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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