So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
