y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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