Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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