I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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