every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
