yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
