we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
