sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I met the friendliest cop last night
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
