I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?