He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.