ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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