You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
