You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
