standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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