I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
