Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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