I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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