Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
