We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
