he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
