do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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