i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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