Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
