it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i've created a new STD.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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