called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
