i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
