now i know why i became what i already was.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
