I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
