So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
