So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize