I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
