watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
