Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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