My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
